[FREE] I try. Always.

     This whole month has been alot on me.  Trying to be there everyone I care about.  I can't help it, it's who I am.  I try my best to be there for all of them.  When they aren't themselves, depressed, in pain, angered, all kinds of emotions.  I ask them if they want to talk or if they need space because they know that I'm always there for them.  I promised everyone that I would always be there for them no matter what and I always keep my promises.  I know you have heard this before and it's a bunch of BS but as you get to know me, you will know who I am and what I am about.  People make promises but some don't always follow through with it.  That's when I say that they are just empty words spoken from one's mouth to relieve another.  For me, I've grown up to realize many things and through my realizations I choose my own way, the kind of person I want to be.
     My friends and family always come first before anything else.  When they need me I'm there.  I don't care if it does get me in trouble for awhile as long as my friends and family are fine.  They are my number one priority before me.  I know it may sound stupid, but my inspiration comes from an ABC Family television show that was cancelled, called Kyle XY.  The character Kyle is a genuine person that is always there for his family and everyone that he cares about.  He always does the right thing no matter what, gathering up information and putting the pieces together to help others without hurting anyone emotionally or physically.  He's a pure person that you must actually watch the full series to know what I mean.  He is literally what someone would call a perfect person.  He is my role model.  In my head, when I am stuck on something and someone needs me I would always ask myself what would Kyle do and it always leads me down the right path.  I try my best to always be there. Always.

[RE] I need a break

My response to Angela Zhou.

"It’s the seventh week of school. My tiredness almost takes over all of my other feelings. I lost all of the motivation for going to school and doing my homework."

     I can relate to what she is saying.  I know I have homework during the week and I am always procrastinating and beginning to do things last minute.  Before senior year began, I told myself that I have to do my best for my last year, because my junior year was terrible.  I started out good this school year but now motivation is lowering.  In class, I try to stay awake as much as I can and when the teacher lectures, my head starts bobbing up and down trying desperately to prevent my eyes from closing.  Let me just tell you, I look like a fucking retard.  People ask if I am okay and all I can say is that I am tired as hell.  When it comes to teaching for me, the teacher needs to animate his/her class or make it more exciting somehow or the class will be boring which forces me to put my head down.  I understand that teachers are suppose to be teaching the material for the students to learn something but can't they do something to keep the class interested because if nothing happens, we can't focus because it just words that are being said out loud but it goes out the other ear.  Especially when we are all in classes that we have no interest in whatsoever.  If we do not like the class then it is a lot harder to focus.  Going to school for all these years and it's the same thing for so long, it's like can something change?  Keep teaching and have all the education but change something.  I do not know what else to say but Change or we need a break.

[FREE] Music is Emotion

     Music.  Millions of people around the world listen to them every single day.  Different types satisfy different people, rap, hip-hop, pop, RnB rock, alternative, jazz, country, metal and some that I probably cannot name at the moment.  Music relaxes the soul.  Kids are growing up with it; they fall asleep listening to music whether it is by a radio, an iPod, an mp3 player or the sound of their mother's voice.  Everyday when teenagers and adults walk to school or work, you see them with their earphones plugged in, mouthing the words, bouncing their heads to the beat, or just peacefully listening to each harmonic, melodic note that passes through their ears.
     To me, I find it amazing.  People listen to all kinds of music and some even actually identify the instruments that are being played.  Music is just like technology, it is constantly advancing.  You find kids on youtube not using any instruments at all to create music.  They beat box or combine the different sounds that they can make with their mouths or body parts and make it into their instrumental background.  People enjoy listening to celebrities sing and even just talented singers that have not yet been discovered.  Fans of non-yet-famous singers sometimes actually try to get them famous by putting them on an interview with Ellen or something and they don't even know it until they receive a phone call.  To me that is a blessing for fans to do that for someone.
     My point is music is something that you will live with throughout your life and, it is something that you should not only listen to but also feel.  The lyrics in songs actually happen in real life and we end up crying at times because you can't help but feel that the lyrics in a song is actually what you're feeling and sometimes you want them to go away.  You also have music that cannot stop listening to because it really... I don't want to use the word "hit" because it's more gentle... it really, touches your heart.  Music can be a way of listening to your emotions in a tune that you enjoy. Listen. Feel.

Going For The Look

     There are two sides to which you can agree or disagree on.  One side is the business side, hiring "good-looking" girls to advertise their merchandise and the other side is the discrimination side.  When customer looks at a billboard with a pretty girl it, they are immediately attracted and go to their store to see what they have.  Just because they believe it looks good on them, companies believe that this is the best way to attract customers.  They do not care about who they are, but only on their looks to make money.  In a way, this is a business seduction technique which brings me to the discrimination side.
     This technique can lead to age, race, and religious discriminations that can put many in jail.  Did I forget to mention gender discrimination?  Everyone notices that the majority of advertisements for these companies have are girls.  This gives the impression that guys do not have an equal attraction as girls "do", therefore can men be hired for the business image?  I know that experts and businesses mindsets' are set on a default advertising technique, but there are and always will be other ways.  "Think outside of the box", I know what you're think.  You've heard that before, a cliche that many use when peoples' imaginations are running low, but it's true.  Tell me it isn't.
     Many people say that we are becoming a paperless world because technology is being used more and is constantly advancing.  If we have technology, why don't they use it to create an advertisement that will draw customers in?  It doesn't have to be technology but something else.  When you try to hire girls that "can" project an image for their business, you can also make others feel insecure in comparison and believe that they are not pretty enough depending on the person.  It's a pattern, a chain, a domino reaction.  One thing always leads to another.
     We all only get smarter and discover new things.  As time progresses, one or a few will look deeper in society and catch something that they do not agree with.  This disagreement can lead to protests which can lead to an international protest because others may feel the same type of discrimination.  I know that when I say international, you are somewhat thinking that I'm exaggerating, but think about it.  This is only my own opinion.  I am only expanding the possibilities of what CAN happen.  Although, it doesn't mean that anything I am saying will come true.  Before any of this, they must look at both sides of the situation, the bigger picture.  Am I getting off topic? This is what I have to say, everything is connected in one way or another.  My answer for this article is that I neither agree nor disagree.  If it's for business, "sure".  If they talk to me about discrimination, I will agree that it is discrimination.

[CE] A Hero

    All I can do is watch, listen and at try to imagine what this man is feeling.  I mean he is brave to enter the army, and fight for his country but for him to be short of breath because one of his lungs is somewhat deflated it hard to feel.  Sure I have felt short of breath at times and I breath slowly to catch my breath, but in comparison to what this man is feeling is just unimaginable.  1st SGT Mike, the medic of their squad was a hero to have so quickly reinflate his lungs so that he can breath and this is a miracle.  Another amazing moment is that once Mike had inflated his lungs, that man had enough air to be a pilot and fly a plane back into war.  Bravery, fighting for our country, courage, determination and inspiration are the words I choose to describe everything that is happening in the war.
     There are two sides: one is when someone volunteers to serve their country and goes to war and the second side is when that someone's family is watching him/her go to war.  The one who volunteers knows the risk he or she is taking and wants to serve their country being brave, modest yet determined.  His/her family  can only hope for the best and each day that he/she is gone, they hope and pray that nothing happens for them to return home safe as a happy family again.  There are so much pain and happiness that I have seen through the looks on peoples' faces but I haven't actually felt them.  It's confusing I know.  I have felt the basic pain; when you scrape your knee from tripping on a sidewalk, and happiness; when your little sister graduates from elementary school, but I haven't felt pain of losing someone in a war or death in the matter or happiness/relief from when your brother comes back from the war.  People feel joy inside and happy for those people they see on television but sometimes they never go deeper to try to feel what's been on their mind or in their heart while the event was still happening.  I guess I'm trying to say that I am thankful for having family with me and thankful for soldiers in the war fighting for our country.

[FREE] Alot

     It seems like this is all happening at once.  There is so much that is going through my mine that it is hard to organize all out.  I mean I come to a new school and know a few people, my first and last year at Alameda High School.  I miss all my friends at Encinal High School, fooling around just being myself.  Everything about Encinal is just so much better to me, I'm sorry to all those Hornets that are reading this lol, but Jet Pride!  I have met a few cool and nice people here in all of my classes but it is nothing compared to what I have at Encinal.  In addition, to leaving all my friends, I am taking classes here that I did not even know existed that are not at my school.  Then after I graduate here,  college is next and that class that I want to graduate with are all going separate ways and there is probably nothing I can really do about it.  After school this year, I have to go straight home until I keep my grades at a B average at least for the next six months then I get my freedom back.  I have friends at Encinal that I have always said I will always be there for and it just makes it twice as hard going here and with my mom's additional restrictions.
     There's a lot this year that I have to get accomplished for my future but I do not want my future to be consumed by work, I want and need my social life to keep me balanced.  I am sure that I have mentioned this more than once before in my other blogs but it is true.  Some people here at Alameda High have given me a few smirks here and there but I deal with it.  There is so much that I want to do here, but I do not want to make a bad first impression.  My only freedom with my friends is on the weekends and that is also if my mom does not make last minute plans.

" I'm shy.  Most people don't take the time to get to know me.   They don't take the time to explore the real me.  So I'd like to thank everyone who has.  Everyone who didn't, missed out." - Wiz Khalifa

[RE] Govt Can and Should Get Involved, Yes or No?

     The government can and should have something to do with the clothes we wear only depending on the situation.  If they are covering themselves in a certain such as the face then, everyone can different or uncertain interpretation.  As mentioned, when someone's face is covered, people will think of robbery rather than religious reasons.  In this case, the government should take action.  I understand for women that showing skin in other different parts of the body can be sexually appealing and can be covered, but otherwise that should be their choice, their decision.  The government should only get involved under certain circumstances.  There are many different scenarios, they just have to know when.
     We should have the liberty to pray anywhere, however we want, as long as it does not cause public disturbance or trouble.  What I mean by this, is do not take advantage of the freedom, by praying in the middle of a traffic jam to prevent people from getting where they need to go.  Praying is part of freedom of religion and believing in a higher power and telling us not to pray is basically saying to stop believing in God.  Everyone should have that expression to pray wherever because most of us know that God is our faith that most of us believe in.  Most of us pray at random times just to believe even for the smallest things because most of us know He's there.  At this moment of even thinking about this freedom is now going by what the laws say.  Some are forgetting about the religious background and are focusing on the laws whether or not we should pray wherever we want.  From where I am standing, this subject should not be something to be questioned.

[FREE] IDK What to Write

     I am sitting on my living room sofa with my mom's laptop in front of me, listening to music on youtube in one window, google reader open in another and blogger in another.  I'm sitting here thinking of what to do for my free post not knowing what to talk about even though there are so many things to talk about.  My mind keeps sticking to the same things and I am trying to think outside the box.  I am finding it hard to know what to type because there are other things that I am thinking about.  It is so hot even with the fan on turning 45 degrees from me to the rocking chair at my right.  This will just turn out to be one of those quick writes that we do in class that we do not stop writing and just say what is on your mind.    I know this is probably boring to read because there is no particular subject and I am repeating a lot of things like "I" and "mind".  Most of you would not even stop to read this, which makes me laugh, laugh out loud.  Shout out to Sutherland if you do read this post, that free posts can be anything and this is exactly anything laughing my ass off.  Exactly ten minutes have past, I think... Now my main goal is reaching 250 words, usually it is easy when I have a subject in mind that I really am into but now now my mind is just drawing a blank.  Okay, now I am hungry, everyone have a good day hope no one fell asleep reading this, time for a soda :)

[CE] Be Thankful.

Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever and ever. Amen.

the lord's prayer - matthew 6:9-13 - jesus

It is funny how people complain about their lives everyday about little things in their lives.  Most of us "know" how bad other people in different parts of the world have it and we feel sorry for them, but we never really know for sure how bad it really is until we experience it ourselves.  These poor people in Pakistan had trouble enough already before the flood had taken down their homes but now it just makes it twice as hard because they have no roof over their heads.  Over 5,000,000 Pakistanians suffered from the rain flood and some died from the flood because of the collapse of these houses.  We should be thankful for everything we have that others do not such as food, shelter, clothes, money and much more.  It should not just be Thanksgiving that people should be most grateful for, in their lives but every living, breathing day.  Everyday may seem like a regular basis, but if you think about it, everyday we live we are exposed to so many different things that can happen without you expecting it.  People take a step out of their front door and they are planning to go socialize with friends, going to a job, planning on a vacation and much more.  We face so many different things in our lives and each day we end it with a good or bad night's sleep.  Live everyday single moment of everyday as if it were you're last because you never so what will happen.  Our best direction we go is optimism. Amen.

[RE] Response to Ming Suen

It makes an individual stop and think: "What do I want to accomplish in my life?"
     Haste makes waste.  This applies for everyone and everyone is rushing nowadays.  They forget that they are running life of stopping to take a breather and watching what they are doing.  Everyone has one life and you don't want to waste it... I know cliche, but you all know it's true.  You can honestly say that you have to work 24/7 on something to make the money to pay for everything you're doing too focused to have a social life.  Everyone needs balance in their lives or they will lose from being overwhelmed with too much on their mind.
     Let you're mind flow and enjoy everyday as if it were you're last.  Stop and think, "is this what I really want to do?"  Isn't there anything in the world that you have always wanted to do, or anywhere in the world that you have always wanted to go?  What is it? Where is it?  Take a break and focus on relaxing and actually ENJOY something rather than have your job consume your life.  I remember my former Avid teacher from Encinal High School told us about her daughter who just entered college and her life in high school.  She barely had any friends because all she did was study for tests and focus on everything to graduate and getting to a good college.  She basically committed social suicide because she didn't have fun.  My teacher warned us to study but also have a life on the side for balance.  Balance.

[FREE] Something to Put on Paper

     All the time people, are saying that they do not like drama, or "ugh, to much drama", or "why you being so dramatic?", and yet they have drama in their lives too.  They expect people not to spread it, but maybe that is their form of venting out.  Everyone has things in their minds that they keep to themselves that they do not want to share with other people or are just to afraid to.  What they(when I say "they" I mean that as a generalization) keep things inside and huddled up, it actually forms new and more emotions.  They need to express out somehow even if it's on paper or they just need someone that is really willing to listen to them without being judge mental.  Everyone needs some drama in their lives because drama is just another way of saying emotions.  Emotions are what makes us human beings and not robots.  No emotions is just careless, not caring about anyone except yourself.  I do understand that people can be overly-dramatic that can be annoying and maybe watch too many soap operas.  My point is, if you really want to avoid drama, then stick to watching cartoons.  If you care about the people in life that need you, then don't leave.  Drama is going to happen throughout your entire life so learn to deal with it now or just keep leaving ignorant comments whenever something happens.  Whatever you choose, it what you do, I have no control over what anyone does.  I am just putting this out there.

[College Essay Draft]

     My cousin and I were wondering the halls of Encinal High School, not knowing where us freshman should do during lunch and found an empty hallway.  We started playing around with the empty space and what we can do.  We decided to start dancing and free styling in the hall, called sessions.  Everyday at lunch we would get our lunch and go to the hallway next to the boys locker room next to the gym, stretch, and began to session, practicing random stunts.  That was the started of we soon became today.  Today we know a lot more an are more experienced and just do crazy stuff every now and then not to impress anyone but just for our own amusement.  It has been kind of hard for the past year though because he moved to San Diego.  He still danced over there formed a crew and I kind of ran solo, or just every once in a while danced with some other friends from Encinal that were still learning.  My cousin moved back and now we have so much to catch up on.  Through everything that has happened, I realized that I have inspirations that range from random people on the street, neighbors, family and friends.  They do not have to have the same hobbies as I would but they do many things that I just see by accident, I watch them or they show me.  These inspirations make me realize that I have different dreams that are possibilities but are not yet decided.  Dancing, art and computers all fall into my category of dreams.  In dancing, I am able to express myself without speech and others just have different interpretations of what I am feeling.  There is no right or wrong answer, it's all on them.  I dance because it is unique, extreme and something I enjoy performing.
     Art, on the other hand is something I have been doing since I was a young 6-year-old.  This can be another form of expression that can be anything that you want it to be.  I remember my first drawing that I was really proud of when I was 6-7 years old was a drawing of Spider-Man that worked on from like early afternoon until midnight.  My face had a big smile on my face at night.  My grandfather and friend, Michael are artists whom inspired me.  My grandfather is an artist who paints and draws, he has made many paintings including one of me when I was a mere infant.  Michael is just amazing when he draws because is technique is effortless and natural, of course I would never tell him that and he would never admit it.  Before he begins, he think and snaps a picture in his head, grabs a pencil and just puts it on paper.  It's as if he draws by instinct because he automatically knows what a picture needs without hesitation.  My problem is, I can only draw when I'm in the mood and I am not sure if that's just my mind set or that is how it really is.  It is also quiet difficult to draw something straight from my head.  If I have, it is because I have drawn it before.  I have to look at something for me to draw it.  Anime is my style of drawing.
     My history with computers all began when I reunited with my aunt, uncle and grandfather about 10-11 years ago.  My grandfather showed me the computer and introduced all the features and capabilities.  Almost immediately I began to use the computer by myself.  I was always on it, making birthday and holiday cards for my family.  As soon as, my grandfather showed me the sentence " the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog", having every single letter in it, I learned how to type.  I would type that same sentence over and over until I mastered it, then soon I was typing all the words I would think of or see in my surroundings. That's how I learned to type.  As time and the years went by, I see technology advances that catch my eye and just explore through trial and error.  Knowing the small basic shortcut keys on a keyboard is interesting but when I get literally internal into the computer and it's components catches my attention because so much to remember.  Learning how everything works and how everything is connected.
     Although I have all these dreams, my future remains undecided.  My opportunities are difficult which stops me from making solid decisions because I know that once I choose what to study for, that's my major for life.  I want to choose something that I will enjoy and not day of work will I say that I "regret this".  I want to have a job that when I wake up in the morning, excitement fills my insides, and I am looking forward to work that I am rushing out the door.  My plan is to be ready for what comes next after high school and be dedicated to what I am doing.  I would rather be ready with an opportunity than have an opportunity and not be ready.

Then and Now - 9-11 - CBS Sunday Morning - 9-4-11

9/11 was one of the most traumatizing events in history.  Before this event happened, people were able to walk the streets so calmly and peacefully.  Ever since that day or I should say significant event that they do not know who to go to or who to trust.  Many have heard different stories about it but rarely from the original source.  Some have conspiracy theories that some of the United States actually worked together to plan this bombing upon the Twin Towers and it just leaves many speechless about why.  That is everyone's number one question.  I, myself, have heard many stories based on the same thing, nothing new, like a broke record given to different people  What I would like to know is the truth and why.  I have asked this question great amounts of times in the past but like I've said before, different people, different stories based on what they think and heard.  It's hard to stand at the fact that people are scared and mortified and are unable to walk with liberty in the streets.  Some people are still on their toes because they still believe that Osama Bin Laden is still alive and hiding somehow.  I know I am jumping from one guy to another here but first we killed Saddam Hussein four years ago, a man who killed anyone who opposed him or whom he thought opposed.  He had led brutal attacks with various ethnic groups which included poison gas against civilians who were not involved in those groups.  I don't blame them that it is hard to accept this fact that after 10 years our Satan of this world is no more.

Introducing Me

This will be my free post telling about who I am.  If you know me, then you can obviously tell that there are many things that you can't tell just by looking at me through my height, face expression and just my appearance in general.  I just transferred here to Alameda High School from Encinal High School and already the people I have made friends with assumed that I was a freshman or sophomore and my usual response is "Yeah, I know.. I'm short and I'm asian", or "Yeah, I get that a lot."  Then I just laugh it off.  To be honest, I want to go back to Encinal, because all my friends are there and I feel a lot more comfortable.  Here, there isn't as much freedom.  Sure, you can go to Park Street for lunch and what not, but that isn't what I am referring to.  I am talking about expressing yourself as in being yourself, jumping around if you want to without looking like a crazy person.  There are many personalities in this school that are just inside us just waiting or trying to come out.  Appearances are deceiving.  Some people see that and some people don't.  Everyone has their own perspectives in everything.  I remember what we talked in class about people being uncomfortable with talking/expressing yourself wid a random audience.  I completely agree with them on that, this is exactly what I just talked about above.  I understand everything they are coming from.  A friend of mine has posted things on tumblr and has been cyberbullied and it has lowered her self-esteem.  I do my best to not make her feel so down and tell her to ignore them but it becomes kind of hard ignoring the fact that people also spam.  At this point, I guess we are going to have to get used to this, trust people not to do anything bad, or just don't share as many personal things.  For me, I do not care what people think, I know who I am.  Whatever bad things they say about me, that's there problem. I don't care.  I am just introducing me.